Full moon stirrings.

September 2018

As the full moons energy heightens it seems some inner ghosts are stirring. Asking to be shed once more even though you thought you’d already shed them.

After 8 years, countless mediations, court dates and paperwork that absolutely can have no holes in them whatsoever or it leaves room for an abuser to abuse, I am still experiencing threats from an unsettled spirit. One who feeds off the goodness in others, in particular women. Beautiful women, the kind who do it all and can handle it with strength and grace. Even as he continues to do this to me he feeds off another.

I’m baffled my friends. I’ve done much hard work here, have taken my power back and even found the compassion that settles me into knowing how to respond as to not be drained nor engage. I even have new barriers mandated by the court to help keep him at bay.

Yet here I am this morning feeling tired and weary. Ripples of anger and anxiety move through my belly as I was zapped with another stream of verbal abuse. I’ve made the phone calls for help...again. I’m in complete awe at this situation. How can you work with or co-parent with a sociopathic narcissist? You can’t and I have to rely on a system that is not built for this either. I feel completely alone with this. Also so puzzled by it I’m suddenly fascinated at how this can still be happening. Which can open up some wider perceptions in a deeper knowing.

I am done with this. So very done. This shit is what I like to call ancestral darkness, unsettled spirits feeding off others, trying to keep them ill or in dis-ease in order to carry the ill forward. I’ll never give in, he finally picked a woman who holds the compacity to withstand. I will make that dark energetic fire go out. You see, that ancestral lineage is within my sons genetics. I will be there to mend it so it stops with him.