Unmasking the Rage: A Midnight Awakening

I'm up in the middle of the night writing this. Up after a dream that snapped me right out of sleep, a shapeshifting experience brought with much discomfort.

At first I was dreaming of cars and traffic, trying to get through to park somewhere and having trouble. I circled the parking spaces and there was much hustle and bustle. People all over. I eventually parked, which instantly brought me to a room in which I had a young woman with red hair with me. She was a student of mine, and I was teaching her about Reiki. I was testing her on her energy work and boundaries.

To my left was this doorway of sorts, kind of like an oversized cupboard. I opened the door on the right side, and inside was another young girl. She asked us a question about Reiki, and I turned to the first girl behind me and said, "What would you do in this situation?" Testing her again. When I turned back to the girl in the closet, I noticed something very wrong. Her eyes changed to fear and rage, she had a significant amount of blood running down her face, and as I spoke to her gently, she came to me and stepped just outside of the doorway.

I held her hands in mine and could feel her fear. She looked so unwell and was making strange and unnatural expressions and gestures. I began to see what looked like a possession of some kind. She wasn't herself anymore—something else had taken over. I began to chant then. I told her she was safe in the container we were in and nothing negative or inharmonious could enter the space, and all that was present would be removed immediately. I called on an archangel to come and help me remove, and just as I did, the girl began to let out a deep, slow, clicking growl. Much like a feral and dangerous wild animal, like an angry lion or panther ready to kill. That sound moved right through me, a good healthy fear followed, and I woke up.

The Immediate Aftermath

At first, I thought I had opened a door to a demonic energy which needed removal and clearing. A young girl's spirit perhaps that I found or who showed herself to me so I could help. So when I woke, I did as much clearing as I could, just in case. I felt calmer after and sat with the possibilities of the meaning of this dream.

The veil between worlds feels thinner at night, especially under a full moon. My intuition was firing on all cylinders, desperately trying to decode what my subconscious was revealing to me. There's always meaning in our dreams—sometimes buried deep, sometimes screaming right at us from the surface.

Yesterday's Shadow Work

Earlier in the day yesterday, I had a training call with my business coach, and we were working on shadow work techniques with clients. Learning how to spot trauma in body language and subtle signals. Working through a talking method to help identify the shadow in the trauma work, eventually leading to their superpower—their most treasured weapon.

Yesterday, when it came my turn to practice, my deep rage came forward. Able to articulate it well without directing it at anyone, of course, I had many sensations rise to the surface, including an all-over-the-body cold sensation along with some shaking. We talked about the feminine warrior, that some of us were meant for war to protect the light in this world, to help the vulnerable.

Like the dark goddess, the feminine warrior dismantles and destroys for the highest good of all. Unlike much of the energy rising on earth right now, the dark goddess heals and alchemizes. There is no evil in the dark goddess; in fact, she's the opposite, but still scary and powerful as all hell.

The 3:30 AM Revelation

As I sat with the dream longer, laying in bed at 3:30 am under the light cast by the Scorpio full moon, the reality of the dream sank in. It was me. The girl in the closet was part of me. She was what my rage looks like in the deeper recesses of my psyche.

I laid there with a sense of awe and shock... that is what it looks like? Holy shit. That is where she's been hiding? The fact that I actually found her amazed me for a moment. The power of the shadow work technique we practiced earlier in the day took me aback. It opened the door.

The Scorpio moon is known for its revelatory nature—pulling our deepest secrets to the surface, forcing us to confront what we've hidden even from ourselves. It's no coincidence this dream came to me under her watchful gaze. She demands truth. She demands we face our shadows.

The Connection to My Physical Healing

After that group call, I found myself feeling a desperation to understand the use and power of my rage once and for all. I understood how keeping it internally has plagued me and made me so sick. It's built up over time and created very angry parasites in my body, wreaking havoc on my physical health.

Every single dream I've had of my Lyme disease has showed me that it has big angry energy. I've torn it out of my abdomen, and it put up a fight. I've pulled it out of my physical body's meridians and felt it detach like suction cups coming loose. I find myself wondering now if the Lyme has been a manifestation of my suppressed rage. At this point, this scenario would not surprise me.

The Path Forward

This revelation feels like a turning point in my healing journey. Finding this rage-filled girl in the closet of my psyche means I can finally work with her directly—integrate her power instead of suppressing it. Perhaps this is the key to transmuting this energy that has manifested as physical illness for so long.

The dark goddess doesn't eliminate darkness—she transforms it. She teaches us that our shadow aspects aren't to be feared or rejected but integrated and channeled. My rage isn't inherently destructive; it's powerful energy seeking proper expression.

I'm left with questions that feel like the beginning of a new chapter: How do I honor this rage without being consumed by it? How do I channel this fierce feminine warrior energy for healing rather than harm? How might I teach others to find their own dark goddess energy hiding in the closets of their minds?

The journey continues, illuminated by moonlight and the newfound awareness that sometimes our most frightening dreams are simply our souls trying to show us what we need to see.

XO
Di