Healing initiations with cannabis.
August 2018
This is a vulnerable post and I say that mostly because of the heavy stigma around this incredible plant. I’ve held onto this post for months without sharing because of this stigma and after much thought what is more important to me is being a voice for some of the deep trauma healing this plant offers.
When I was a child I was sexually assaulted in a very dark way. Through extensive psychotherapy I have come to this awareness and was diagnosed with PTSD. My mind has no clear memory of what happened but my body does. In session my body showed extreme signs of sexual abuse under the testing and great care of a brilliant therapist. Thanks to my hard work with this therapist I took a major step forward into understanding my dis-ease.
It wasn’t until this year and with this astounding plant that I really awoke. When you are sexually assaulted, especially as a child there are parts of you that just shut down and close. Right there in that moment and they stay closed for as long as they must. Earlier this year, amongst my husbands incredible work with truly medicinal strains of cannabis he gave me a strain to try called Papaya Punch. I had never seen this plant in person nor had it before but with my deep trust in my husbands work I went right ahead and tried it. I’ll never forget what followed.
Shortly after I ingested her I began to feel sensations in the deepest part of my femininity. From very deep inside of me this plant opened me up so abruptly all I could do was stand their in awe. I turned to my husband and began describing what was happening. In describing my sensations he told me I gave him an accurate description of what the flower looked like in person. Within me was a conversation between plant and person. She was talking to me, finding the dark corner where I had closed all the layers of sensuality in what it means to be a woman. Just one interaction with this plant gave me those sensations I had lost and were taken from me. I awakened to the understanding that I had closed the door to being open in my sexuality, much like damning up a free flowing river.
