Transmuting Shadow
I commonly hear the terminology around always finding the light in difficult situations. Finding the good and/or the best of it, and I’m kinda sick of it.
What if instead of finding the light in these challenges and adverse experiences we start actually finding the darkness, and the harm being done and swiftly bring it INTO THE LIGHT. Exposing as much as we can, over and over again with the intention of transforming the harm into something new. Something that actually supports physical and mental health for the spectrum of all our lives.
“In black there are all the colors.
Where darkness, always the light.
Iridescent the raven’s wing in sunlight”
In this short year I have been experiencing many adverse experiences within systems in my community and beyond. Things that are supposed to exist to encourage folks to succeed, flourish, and be well. Yet what I have seen and experienced is in fact causing much harm. I have found that also, beyond this newfound understanding, is a deep lack of understanding in what the collective of communities of children and families actually need for emotional and mental health.
I learned early in my childhood that without good mental health there is much that can feel or might actually be unattainable for various reasons. Over and over again I seem to have found the harmful ingredients in systems which are set up for people to experience a deep lack of mental health support and there seems to also be missing components that could keep us strong and united.
There has been long time discussions around these systems for years such as healthcare, public school, and mental health programs actually being set up in away in which we become or are left sicker and unwell as we attempt to lean on these systems and engage in society. This is not news to anyone I imagine at as I came across many issues and challenges this year and last year I found myself overwhelmed in navigating the lack of.
In that overwhelm I am learning boundaries. The kind that support keeping my health for myself and my family. Learning what these boundaries need to be is not super quick and takes some sitting still to listen to the body and self. I also find myself thinking of others out there, individuals, families, children who are subjected to these seemingly failing systems every day. I wonder how their nervous systems are being wired in the face of these challenges and what cost this creates for all of us.
So in light of my navigating and finding my way through these societal structures that do not seem to be catching up to modern challenges anytime soon I found myself coming to that old attage…find the good…and something in me shifted.
The statement itself shifted in my mind. I thought, instead of finding the light in these challenges and adverse experiences we need to start actually finding the darkness, the harm and bring it into the light. Exposing more and more, over and over again with the intention of transforming these broken and unwanted systems it into something else. Something that actually supports community, physical and mental health for the spectrum of people’s lives.
Maybe it time to take down the house that holds all that toxic positivity and get real.
Maybe it’s time to face the realities of a system that no longer works and how harmful it is becoming.
Maybe we need to find that shadow and speak it to the world.
Certain goddesses such as Kali and Pele were and are still feared for their destructive power, yet so deeply misunderstood. The power of these goddesses saw so clearly the harm, and they used their power to change it. They deconstructed and transformed the harm into new life. Women’s rage has this same power.
I myself have an acute awareness of where harm is being done and this has brought me many difficult situations in where I’ve had to breath in my inner Kali, step forward alone, and use my rage to create change.
If I can do this alone (even though we should not be doing this alone), so can you. Don’t be afraid and don’t let any kind of fear or gaslighting convince you that you don’t have this kind of power, because you are filled with it, your sight and intuition is spot fucking on, and this messy world is waiting for you.
