Grief, love, and honoring my teacher.
This past weekend, while I was obtaining my second level training in Craniosacral Therapy, my family and I suffered a tremendous loss.
My Aunty Annee, my teacher, my living spirit guide, and my fairy godmother stepped through the veil and left her body. It has taken me days to figure out how to express my love and gratitude for Annee and I realize I just can’t. Its too much to express, there are simply no words to do so. Rather I am here to share with you who Annee was to me and how she single handedly helped me build the foundation I stand on as a practitioner of the healing arts.
Annee is truly the most powerful medicine woman I have ever known, and its a well known fact that there is no one like her and never will be. When I was just nine years old, Annee began to teach me her ways, she would visit the family from time to time and take time to show me what was beyond the veil of this world. She would guide me though visions and meditations, help me decipher my dreaming skills, and began to teach me the healing power of crystals and light work. From that time on she continued to infuse herself into my life, walking me through the journey of healing myself while teaching me the fundamental techniques in how to work with the energy of the earth, the universe, and with others.
Annee walked me through some of the darkest energy, she was the only person I ever felt safe with. Although small in physical size, she was the mightiest spirit I knew and nothing got passed her. She showed me what was possible, that we are limitless, and how I can truly build a safe container for myself and my clients for the highest healing good. She was loving and tender, and also stern and never let me get away with any crap. I accompanied her on many of her ceremonies and clearing works for others and observed so carefully. I soaked up every bit of knowledge she offered me.
Most recently in my life she began offering me past life regressions. She walked me through many past lives in which it was necessary for me to reprocess and heal the trauma I had experienced so long ago. The body absolutely holds these memories, like nudges of pain waiting for you to pay attention. There was one past life in particular in which we realized she was also alive at that time with me. We were once again family and there was much emotional pain and trauma for us both to process and heal together. Tell me, who can say that they were able to journey to a past life with a member of your actual soul group for the purpose of evolution for the both of you? I can, I can say that, and its the most tremendous gift of my life. In August of 2014 I was blessed with the presence of Annee at my wedding where she lovingly officiated the ceremony of the union of my husband and I. How blessed am I to have had her offer this to us and to boot it was on her birthday, so every year on our anniversary I continue to celebrate Annee’s day of birth into this world.
When Annee passed into the spirit world, early in the morning during a heavy snowfall, I felt a subtle pulse move through the ether, and although I wretched with pain in my chest I simultaneously felt so healed by this pulse that moved so gently into this world. I felt grounded, held, wrapped in a warm blanket of golden light. I feel a stronger awareness in my spirit of the present moment and what I am here to do. As I sat in the awareness of that pulse, I imagined that everyone in the world suddenly felt a rei of healing come into their lives. A moment of magic, a wave of light that simply moved through them. Annee was in fact this powerful, and there is no doubt in my mind that her energy in the spirit realm is impacting us all for the highest good, and boy do we need it.
Annee was and is the true love of my life.
Like a grounded elder tree, she created a home for me that can not be replicated. This earthly realm loved her so much, this place held her and she gave this world more light than we can even imagine. She loved my home and the spirits that dwell here with me. She guided me in the creation of Mountain Hollow Medicinals with things like how to create a sacred and safe container for others, how to work along side the spirits here, how to protect my space from inharmonious energy. On our last weekend together in the magical autumn light, she helped me move and reset my medicine wheel, a powerful teaching she passed on to me. Every time I visited her throughout my life we spent time in her wheels, praying and holding space for me to be initiated time and time again. So now my wheel sits right by the yurt, under our grandmother tree, holding the most beautiful energy and made entirely of quartz stones from the land. A gift she left me and all who journey here.
Nothing could have ever prepared me for Annee’s passing, and I think when I say that I speak for everyone who knew her and was touched by her healing work. All of her students, all of the people she helped so lovingly, and everyone in my family is feeling the grief of this heartbreaking loss. But Annee is closer to us now than she has ever been, free from the constraints of the body and fully in her power. She is coming to each of us, loving us still and healing us all.
Even though I feel her joy, her freedom, her potent energy all around me, my heart is so broken that even my bronchial tubes in my chest are so tender it aches to speak. The amount of gratitude I have for Annee is unspeakable, there is no way I could attempt to share the magnitude of it. My children were so loved by her and in their sorrow they can feel her healing energy too.
Annee was loved by so many and loosing her in this time where the world just feels more and more messy is devastating. But like I said, in her power and looking down on us, she walks alongside the Arch Angels, the most powerful light beings there are. She is with them as one of them.
So as I pledge to continue to honor my greatest teacher by moving forward on the path to expansion, healing, growth, and being in service to this world. I ask you to help me do the same in her honor. I ask you to open up fully in love and acceptance to your authentic self and bring forth your powerful and unique offerings into a world that needs you so badly. No one else can offer what you are here to share with the world. It’s time to bring it forward now.
I ask you all to open your hearts fully and wide, to allow the inward and outward flow of love to move through you freely, to allow yourself to process, release, and heal, to expect miracles every day, and to see this world through the incredibly beautiful lens in which Annee looked through.
Let us come together and forge ahead as light workers and practitioners and witches. The world needs us and Annee and her angels are guiding us all.
Annee White Eagle, I love you so very much and I will take what you have given me and I will change the world with it all. I am the practitioner I am because of you. Nothing can stop me. Watch out world, I am coming for ya.
With all of my heart,
Diana
