September thoughts...
Welcome September. Just a few days ago my hibiscus finally bloomed. I have been watching it all summer, checking periodically on the stage of its growth, making sure its doing well as it expands. This observation has felt like a reflection on my own growth. This year has been a slow hike for me, a long trudge as I move through the continual grief and challenges in my health. I read something the other day that said there is one spirit in a long line of ancestry that comes forth to feel the pain. To feel everything that was suppressed and avoided for generations.
I once had a psychic reading with a lovely and powerful woman. She used no tools to read into my energetic information, or akashic records. She just sat there at the table looking at me. I was surprised by the lack of tools and thrown off some. She got my attention by speaking to me and asking what it was I needed. I told her I wasn’t sure and was simply looking for some guidance from spirit. She looked at me longer and a slow smile grew on her face. She said, “Its an honor to meet you”, I raised an eyebrow with curiosity, and she went on to explain that I was here to heal my lineage. That all the work I do and will do was about breaking the traumatic patterns and toxicities that had plagued my ancestors for a very long time. These toxicities had also brought on sicknesses of the mind and body, and it was time to break that. She went on to tell me I was made to be strong enough to do this work. One thing she said still sits in my mind to this day. She said, “you will be the last one standing.” Maybe she meant that as a metaphor for the work that was to come and the strength I am capable of, but it really gave me a moment of ease.
You see when you feel so much in your body, like every shift, every nerve ping, every zap of hot sharp pain, it can really be scary because we live in a society that for a long time now has promoted illness in various ways. This can get right into our heads like a seed to create more fear and stress around the predominant thought that always rises, something is wrong with me. What if what we are actually feeling are messages from our DNA? Messages from the experiences of our ancestry and our past lives. Maybe those patterns you are learning about yourself are not yours. Maybe they were passed down with what I refer to as Subconscious Contracts. In other words, it was given to you without much thought, never mind your permission.
After my conversation ended I walked away with a sense of relief. It was a moment where she brought me a clarity that I had been waiting for. That there is so much more to what I have felt in my life, that not all of it is mine and its ok to free it, and that I am quite capable of rewiring the patterns both sides of my ancestry has given me. It was a full circle moment bringing my grief on loss of culture and beginning to understand that sickness that I have witnessed my entire life. She had handed me a question on a beautiful sparkling iridescent plate that asked, “what if you could set it all free?”
After working with many clients offering craniosacral therapy these past weeks, this full circle understanding has come back to me. Over and over I’ve had folks describe their heavy exhaustion, their pain, along with their struggle in having no idea what it was all coming from. Doing their best to manage their health with very little relief. Together in session we offered their body release, an opening of pathways that were stopped up, and moved even deeper into the pain in conversation with their inner wisdom to allow the inner self both physically and emotionally to shift. Afterwards when someone on my table sits up with that awe of relief, a wide eyed sleepy glow, and they express their amazement, there is nothing better. To witness these shifts, to be trusted so, is a great honor in my life.
It can be necessary at times to do this kind of ancestral work individually, but it is so powerful to be walked down the path aways by someone who you truly trust to do so. Every time I get the opportunity to be reminded that I am trusted this way, I wake back up to why I am here and just what I am capable of. Its a gift to connect with others in this way and I honor it every day.
As my favorite time of the year gently moves in, the air changes, and the light becomes stunningly dramatic I spend as much time as I can out in nature, observing and soaking up the harmonic frequencies in this comforting time of year. This is a good time of year to flow with the breeze and to take long walks. Sage and I have been walking together every morning followed by an intense cold plunge. Its been life giving.
Sending magic in the breeze,
Diana
